Don't let the fear of rejection, or the possible embarrassment of asking out a work colleague, or mutual friend, prevent you from romancing the love of your life. Classmates and various other people you know, could all potentially be the one. InterestedIfYouAre have managed to address those problems, and allow you to get around these problems without any red faces.
In a study that included two college campuses, a group of female and male students who knew each other fairly well were asked to provide the names of the people within the group they would be interested in dating. On average, each participant provided 2.3 names. Interestingly, the match rate was 22%, meaning almost one-fifth of all participants provided a name of a person who had a similar interest in dating him or her. The matching names were kept confidential but the students provided updates every semester on the dating and intimate relationships they formed. At the end of the study three years later, only 5% of participants had formed relationships with people from within the group. So what happened to the other 17%? How come these relationships never took place even though they involved two people interested in each other who also attended the same college for several years?
Part of the answer resides in the important work of social psychologists Irwin Altman from University of Utah; and Dalmas Taylor from Lincoln University, Pennsylvania, who created the Social Penetration Theory. They say that most relationships stall before a stable intimate exchange is established. They attribute that in part, to societal norms that prevent too much early self-disclosure, or ‘opening up’ to people and sharing our inner feelings with them. They also noticed that self-disclosure is reciprocal; we tend to reveal more of our feelings and real interests to those who are willing to do the same to us.
The Fear Of Rejection. Before making a move towards building a personal relationship, most of us wait for a sign of reciprocation from the other. We rely on both verbal and non-verbal signals. However, in these times of political correctness, these messages are not always sent. Often when these signals are sent, they are not always clearly interpreted. Fear of rejection can play havoc with our inbuilt messaging system.
The animal kingdom has very clear flirting signs that the males and females employ to display their interest. In caveman's time, our signals were much more direct, less sophisticated, and much more successful. In this day and age, we are unable to drag our potential mate off to our cave. Despite all of our recent sophistication and improved social niceties we have not necessarily caught up with our dating techniques.
Fear of rejection and political correctness, will often prevent two people who are interested in each other from pursuing each other and forming a relationship.
Fear Of Embarrassment. We all tend to avoid looking silly or being rejected in front of people we know. Many single people are happy to hang out in the bar scene with strangers, but will hesitate to try and date someone from work or a mutual group of friends. With these colleagues we tend to waste time playing games and sending confusing signals.
The irony of this is that you have a lot more in common with the people whom you know reasonably well. If there is a reciprocated interest there is a great chance of success. The chances of a successful romance are much better than those with a random stranger picked up in a bar. Your chances with the person you know are also better than with an airbrushed stranger off a dating web site who has provided the usual generic answers to the questions.
The Match Maker. For hundreds of years the tricky mine field of relationships has often been handled by a trusted person. This person ascertains whether there is any reciprocated interest. You can still do this today if you know of someone whom you can trust implicitly, respects your privacy, is non-judgmental, and is mutually acceptable to the other person as well.
Alternatively, you can use InterestedIfYouAre. We will play the part of the once vital match maker. We will play the role of a trusted friend. We will find out who the other person is interested in and bring you together if the attraction is reciprocated. All with no fear of rejection or embarrassment. No one will know the names of the people you are interested in. Additionally, as a bonus, someone could have already registered their interest in you. The solution to your dating dilemma is just a click away.
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